I AM (going to be) A YOGA TEACHER?! (Cherlene 4)
Seriously, where did all the time go? WHERE?
Just last week, I was a bag of nerves, teaching my first sequence and making a horrible mess outta my class with bad speech + clumsiness + bad adjustments (Voldemort fingers and armpit touching = NONO) + helplessness. And today, I am DONE with all the teaching-practice (or what I like to call Lab-teaching). WOW. It was really a crazy experience and a nerve wrecking way to discover myself. I am still nervous when I have to address a large group of people. I am also still worried when I have so many pairs of eyes on me. Yet! As I began class and brought myself ‘in the zone’, started to observe and anticipate potential ‘crisis’ that may arise, I felt a little more like the confident control freak I was at work…AND I LOVE IT!
- I love listening to everyone breathe together.
- I love knowing that some moments had created a unanimous consensus from my class’ participants (be it cursing me from the ‘pain’ of holding a tougher asana or from my core exercises)
- I enjoy hearing the honest feedback from everyone, and most of all,
the greatest pleasure was to be able to share that positive energy with everyone.
- I think I might be addicted to teaching yoga despite the amount of focus and energy it depletes me of (LOL).
My improvement was not mine alone to boast of. Brutally honest feedback from my classmates and teachers drove me to reassess my bad habits, and through that.. deliver a class without much mishaps. I had a total of 5 teaching sessions, and each of them yield a different after-feeling.
If you are keen to know how I felt after each class, read on…
- Class 1: I attempted to teach a sequence created for a class of students with no or minimal experience in yoga. Needless to say, I butchered this. I was not able to put myself completely into that space that was required of me.. Everything just went wrong and downhill from there on. I could not wait to complete the class so I could finally exhale. I WANTED TO DIG A HOLE AND BURY MYSELF IN IT AND NEVER SURFACE,EVER.
- Class 2: This time, I taught a sequence that I had practice at home for years. The entire sequence is something close to my heart, and yet, I was not able to execute it as beautifully as I had thought in my head. I felt like I failed a sequence that meant a lot to me… and yet, the feedback I received was a lot more positive that my first class’ and that encouraged me.
- Class 3: I ‘winged’ this class. I was not able to teach my sequence. I was the 3rd person to teach and we already had 2 strenuous classes with heavy focus on our quads and I did not think that my sequence would do my classmates any good. (Yes, it was supposed to be a killer sequence). I chose to teach a class that would help everyone stretch their bodies and at the same time, strengthen their core. I nearly died at some point because I was worried about how the sequence would be perceived as ‘thoughtless’. Again, I merely considered the thought of burying myself. Thankfully, it was a rather positive class.
- Class 4: This was a trying class for me. I had to deal with my own expectations and consequently, manage myself… I had a sequence and I stuck to it. While there were no major complaints, I realised that I can never plan too much for a yoga class. I ended up feeling so ‘controlled’ by myself and I may have transferred some of that energy to my classmates unknowingly.. A control freak cannot be controlled and our energies affect everyone in class with us. Those were the takeaway for me.
- Class 5: My first ‘themed’ class! Again, I decided to trying ‘winging’ the class. I had already decided to teach Bakasana the day before and I thought it would be pretty easy to come up with a sequence to stick to, until I thought to be without a plan. I wanted to assess everyone’s physical condition after their first class in the morning. I am glad I did- I love the class’ energy and I just wished I remembered to throw in even more wrists exercises. I ended my class with an immense wave of gratitude – for my classmates, for my friend who came by, for my teachers who taught me so much and for all the experience in life so far. My heart was full.
How did you feel after each class? Did each class yield a different sort of feeling for you too? Share with me!