Self-confidence is something that cannot be taught. It is depending on individual to decide how much
belief that they possess inside of themselves. I am at the point where I realize that I must first believe in
myself before others will believe in me. Nobody teaches us to be happy or sad. Those are natural
feelings that come along as we develop mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically, especially
when I’m practicing yoga in the studio. However, there’s always a devil inside me, which easily break my
confidence, just like a piece of cake. I always ask myself: ‘Am I ready for YTT course?’ ‘Am I ready to
become a yoga teacher?’ ‘Am I possible to guide a student if I don’t have enough experience?’ ‘ Am I..’.
All these questions just keep popping up in my mind. There’s always fear in me. I’m worried I couldn’t
achieve this and that. Lost and struggling myself. But every weekend, my body clock will automatically
wakes me at 5am and get ready for weekend YTT course.
I remembered my mentor Jessica mentioned this while we doing asana: We are all here to learn. Sounds
nothing isn’t it? but this is just like a booster to me. She’s right, we are all here to learn. Regardless of
age nor gender, we are all here to learn. It’s not about how flexible your body is or to compete with
others, we all here to learn. That’s the reason why we took YTT to improve our knowledge of Yoga.
Flexibility is not a prerequisite, is an outcome. Learn the knowledge, practice the asana and let the inner
fear and negatives goes.
Sooner or later, I should be able to find my real self. Just a matter of time.
200 Hour YTT Oct’20