I taught for the first time with my own sequence yesterday. I approached the day feeling rather confident of my sequence and how prepared I feel. I kept telling myself to take it as I am living my dream of commanding people to do what I want for a yoga pose, just to reduce the butterflies in my stomach.
In the midst of the class, I realised I was ahead of time. I had an oh-shit moment in my head. It probably seem like there were many oh-shit moments to others. Really need to learn to conceal my thoughts and stop frowning. It is so hard to change such habits within days when I have never been aware for my entire 31 years of my life.
I always seek perfection in the things that I do. I can take more than an hour just to edit a photo to perfection. It is not a good thing and it causes additional stress on myself. I never thought stress would be an issue to me. I always thought that I have a firm character and poker face. Only through this YTT, I found out so many things about myself that I did not know about myself.
These days, I feel like my behaviour has been different from the me in the past. Like I share more about what I think and I try to elaborate more. Even like the small things. Not sure if it is the post natal hormones still raging in my body or I have changed entirely.
I am now working on more self awareness. Wish me luck!