ZMao – Courage (4/6)
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get where you’ve always gotten. The truth is that progress and growth come when we venture outside our comfort zone. If we continue to do things the way we have always done them, we will end up with the same results that we always have gotten. And this is why for my fourth post, I am writing about courage. Courage to explore outside the confines of what we know and what we are familiar with. Whether it is walking on your hands, or standing up to speak in front of an audience, or tucking your ribs. We have to practice something new, in order to go further. Courage is the flip side of fear. Fear clams you up and makes you hug inwards. With courage you can expand, expand to grow taller. Courage is the root that steadies you, the tree, to allow your branches and leaves to reach up to the sky. Where is the source of courage? Yes, the answer in yoga is always the same. A steady breath. With each inhale, breathing in courage. With each exhale, letting go of fear.
KC – Expanding my life force (4/6)
I have never enjoyed the breathing exercises conducted in yoga classes. That’s because I was always short of breath. I usually went out of breath at the count of 4 when the count should be 6. I don’t like the idea that I can’t breathe properly! On the first or second day of YTT, Jessica touched on the topic Pranayama. She said Pranayama is the expansion of life force. There are many breathing techniques which can help with that expansion. She had us sat through 15 minutes of Ujjayi breathing. That was quite a torture for me, not so much of the sitting still, but the out-of-breath feeling. The breathing in of air could not reach deep in to my stomach, and the speed of breathing out was too fast. So when this cycle repeated for so many times, I got slightly giddy, and, no control of my life force. That was my first experience of pranayama. Now we have practised for so many times, and we have learned many other breathing techniques, I have come to enjoy the breathing exercises! No more giddiness and I can breathe in for 6 or 7 counts! I’m quietly thrilled on this small achievement of me breathing better, slower and steadier. So, I’m now more in control of expanding my life force! Yeah!
Charmaine – Sequencing (4/6)
Teaching weekends have now crept upon us (!!!) and I’m stressing over sequencing, trying to make sure that I come up with something that’s functional, feels good, but also interesting and creative enough for those who practice regularly. I know the feeling of showing up on the mat but leaving uninspired or unbalanced, so I wouldn’t want the people who bother coming for my class thinking that way and essentially wasting an hour of their time. Those close to me know that I get very high-strung and anxious (literally flailed about making strange noises the other day at home thinking about teaching MY FIRST EVER CLASS), but I’m trying to reframe my perspective and manage my nerves by thinking about the classes as a safe space to fall and to learn. I know that I will be trying my best, and, as R says “the most important thing is that you all have fun!”
Charmaine – Awareness (3/6)
We’re almost at the end of YTTC, and today was one of the last times we would flow though Jessica’s sequence together as a class. The last few weeks of my practice before YTTC, I was just going through the motions, very much focused on the physical aspects of yoga and how I “have to” strengthen and condition my body, but today’s asana practice reminded me that yoga really is a union of body, mind, and soul. What makes yoga different from any other kind of (similar) exercise- dance, calisthenics, gymnastics, or contortion? I think it lies in the intention, and the growth of awareness that goes beyond the physical. There was a better clarity of mind, and an awareness of movement and breath that I had today that wasn’t present when I was obsessively attending classes. The strength that I built in YTTC is a lot more subtle, effective, and permeates through everything– my other workouts, or the way I carry myself (Jessica’s reuccuring “tuck your ribs!!!” is now etched into my brain), and generally just the way I look at yoga and life. Even off the mat, I’m now better able to control the fluctuations in my mind- not easy as a Pitta :’). Tracking the progression of mental health isn’t as clear-cut or as obvious as physical progress, and I’m definitely nowhere near Samadhi, but I’m closer to connecting with the truth of who I am and why I do what I do. The effort in making small, positive changes grounded in this awareness hasn’t gone unnoticed, and I’m glad that this is the aspect (rather than the cool asanas or the weight loss) that pushes the people around me to give yoga a try too.
ZMao – Respect (3/6)
“Yoga is the journey of the Self, Through the Self, To the Self.” –The Bhagavad Gita I began my practice in yoga because a yoga studio opened up near my house and I heard good things about the practice, so I decided to give it at try on its opening day. I remember aching later in so many muscles that I did not know I had. But the breath and gracefulness of the yogi that taught me and those others in my class kept me coming back for more. Over time as I progressed in my yogic journey, I became frustrated when I couldn’t get into postures that seemed so easy for others (think: urdhva danurasana). I even thought that some people were just more “talented” in yoga than me. So I tried to practice harder, which led to some mild injury. I remember seeing a graph on instagram that charted out what I thought was a very apt description of the journey – excitement in the beginning, stupidly over-training in the intermediate stages, before gaining wisdom in the later period. I have come to learn very personally the concept of respect. As practitioners of yoga, we must respect the process and our bodies. What is to be attained is not the pose, but longevity of the breath in every movement and longevity of the practice (read: not “training”). Each body is built differently, and what comes easy to one may well be impossible for another. As teachers of yoga, we must respect the student. Each student is at a different place, lives a different life, has a different thought, wants a different thing. And most importantly, as humans, we must respect the breath. Our life force. Our prana. Our self.
Yan Han – fear of (4/6)
You don’t quite know what falling is like until, well, you actually fall. So why fear falling in the first place? Usually, we don’t fear falling in and of itself, but the unknown that comes with falling. What happens when I fall? Will I break a bone or two? Maybe I won’t fall after all. Maybe I will fall, and realise it’s not too scary. If I fall, I’ll at least know what to expect next time and I can prepare myself for it. Over the course of this YTT, we’ve had to face various fears. Fear of falling out of inversions (I’ve had my fair share of epic fails; sorry Mr Mirror and my mat neighbours), fear of speaking in front of a large group, fear of failing. Sometimes I get so clammed up in a group class when the teacher is watching/assisting me in a pose that I just cannot seem to get it. But TYM/Jess/our YTT batch have created a wonderful safe space for us to fall, fail and face our fears. In addition to the development of mental and physical strength, yoga opens up a whole community of support. My practice is a personal journey, enriched when it intersects with others’. There will be fear, but there are ways to overcome them. (Like Jess’ favourite ‘shock therapy’.) Usually the largest obstacle is our own mind! There may be judgement from others, but at the end of the day, it’s my practice.
Yin-Yin (5/6): Observing and Adjusting Others’ Postures
One of my favourite YTT classes so far at Yoga Mandala has been observing our bodies and helping each other adjust our postures. It has been a highlight because: It has taught me to be super observant of others’ bodies. To be teachers, we have to put the students’ needs first. This means that we have to observe our students’ bodies, understand their strengths and weakness, and help them adjust their poses accordingly. Jess, our teacher, was very helpful in pointing out the various parts of the body to observe. I was surprised to learn there are so many nuances of the body to look out for. Are the students’ shoulders even? Is there a hunch? Is there a flat back? Understanding these signals allows me to come up with poses that are best suited for their bodies. It has taught me the importance of tailoring communication to the audience. After you identify parts of the student’s body that needs adjusting, the next part is actually communicating to the student on how to adjust. The students need to understand why they’re doing these specific poses, and it’s the role of the teacher to provide that context. I found this part to be the most challenging because the instructions that make sense to me don’t necessarily resonate in the same way to someone else. I found that at times when I provide instructions, the student actually did the opposite of what I had originally intended for them to do. This was super frustrating! The two lessons above have been the most valuable: build empathy for the student and communicate the why.
Yin-Yin (4/6): The Mind and the Present Moment
One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned from YTT is that your mental strength is just as important as your physical strengthen when it comes to improving the quality of your practice. Mental strength is about the ability for your mind to stay present and to silence the external noise. According to a Harvard study, almost half of our waking hours is spent thinking about something other than what we’re doing. “Unlike other animals, humans spend a lot of time thinking about what isn’t going on around them: contemplating events that happened in the past, might happen in the future, or may never happen at all. Indeed, mind-wandering appears to be the human brain’s default mode of operation.” What’s concerning is that the study suggests a correlation between a wandering mind and an unhappy mind. How often our minds leave the present and where they tend to go is a better predictor of our happiness than the activities in which we are engaged.” Yoga teaches the mind to be present and to resist wandering. In particular, focusing on the breath allows me to stay present and aware of my body. This is was a surprising benefit for me joining YTT. I had originally intended to get more in shape physically. However, I was surprised at how much training the mind to be present impacted my overall satisfaction. I am excited to learn more about the breathing exercises and share these learnings with others.
Yin-Yin (3/6): Teaching Yoga for the First Time
The first time teaching sun salutation to the entire class was one of the most nerve wrecking experiences so far during my YTT course. I was nervous because 1) Doing something new is scary. I was so used to being the student and I didn’t know what to expect as a teacher, 2) Big groups can be intimidating. There were so many girls in the room that I felt like I didn’t want to mess up their poses, 3) I was afraid I would forget the different posts. We each went up to the front of the room and instructed the students on sun salutation poses. I was grateful that Jess, our teacher, was there to correct me immediately when I forgot a pose or accidentally confused the different names. The girls in the class were super supportive and had great attitudes. They were particularly cool when I took a bit longer to remember the next pose. The only way to grow is to consistently push ourselves outside of our comfort zones. I’m glad that Jess, our teacher, constantly does this and I’m even more grateful for this opportunity to practice teaching. Practicing to teach has taught me to be more confident and more comfortable with making mistakes.
Yin-Yin (2/6): Learning to Teach Yoga (Four Weeks into YTT)
The focus of the program is to allow participants to not only deepen their own practice and also potentially become yoga teachers if they choose to. Four weeks into the class, I really enjoyed Yoga Mandala’s Jessica Sinclair and her way of teaching. She’s super detailed in her explanations and patient with her students. She’s also not afraid to push her students to get out of their comfort zones which is a great quality in a teacher. Over the last few weeks I’m learning about the key differences between practicing and teaching yoga. 1) What comes naturally to me may not necessarily come naturally to others. Our bodies and our minds can vary from person to person. Just because something comes naturally to me doesn’t necessarily mean that it will automatically resonate with someone else. For example, because I’ve been practicing yoga for 7 years, I feel quite comfortable with the sun salutation sequence. However, as I was instructing this sequence, my teacher reminded me to mention variations for certain poses for students with limited flexibility. It was then I realized that I had unconsciously assumed variations was universal knowledge. It was a good reminder to plan your classes and instructions with your students (of varying levels) in mind. 2) You may not initially like the way you teach. When I recorded myself teaching a sequence, it didn’t turn out the way I had imagined. I spent most of the time cringing at my yoga or frustrated at the pace. I was a lot cooler in my mind than in real life. Recording myself was super helpful to observe and refine my teaching. 3) There are a lot of different teaching styles. One of our homework assignments 4 weeks into YTT was to teach the sun salutation to our YTT class. As we went around the room of 10+ people, it was interesting to see that even though the sequence was the same, everyone’s approach was unique with different intonation, pace, and details. This was reassuring because it made me realize there isn’t one “correct” way to teach yoga and in fact, I can have fun adding in my own style.
