Mel: Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me?
I can’t believe it is time for us to graduate this weekend. (pray for me to pass, please thank you). 13 weeks flew by just like that. No more Kway Chap for lunch on Saturdays and Lao Pa Sat on Sundays. No more having Joie as my mat buddy and joking around with everyone. As I think back over the past 13 weeks, I have become stronger physically, mentally and spiritually. I’ve made many wonderful memories and I’m so glad to have met and gotten the opportunity to grow along with my batchmates. Thank you Jess and Alexis for, aside from being wonderful and supportive friends, guiding me with love and patience and teaching me so much about yoga. Thank you Joie, Roro, Estie, AthenAAA, Rae, Krys, Yas, Xtine, Geun Hye, Karina, Xueting and Monica for being so funny, supportive, encouraging and loving people. I couldn’t have asked for better batchmates! I’m looking forward to taking your classes! Finally, thank you friends and family (you know who you are) for being super supportive of me, feeding me with good food and snacks and for putting your confidence in when I couldn’t do so myself. Thank you too for being my guinea pigs. I realised that I truly am blessed with amazing people around me. “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place” See ya around! Melissa Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Mel: COVID-19
All was fine and dandy until the COVID-19 situation happened. Everything happened so fast and before we knew it, everyone was working from home and everything snowballed from there. Kudos to Jess and Alexis for making fast decisions and deciding to bring YTT online instead. I have to say, I was skeptical at first and thought that taking YTT through video conferencing would be difficult. (laggy videos etc) But it went really well! I think our group did great in adapting to the situation and as every positive side to an unfortunate situation – we’ve gotten good at observing, giving cues and working with camera angles. Additionally, I didn’t have to travel anymore, which meant extra sleep in the morning AND afternoon. Teehee. As we were about halfway through our YTT before it got moved online, actual teaching (a full 60min class) was dawning upon us. Community classes weren’t possible anymore and our batchmates became our “students” instead. I know I am ready but I don’t feel ready! Halp. Melissa Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Mel: The more I learn the more I realise I don’t know stuff.
Yoga from a student’s point of view and a teacher’s point of view differs greatly. Before I started my yoga teacher training, all I could tell was whether I enjoyed the class. During my YTT, I started learning about the postures, the muscles the postures are working on, what the postures do for the body, the different styles of yoga, breathing techniques etc. It was a lot to take in but I really enjoyed learning together with my batchmates. Weekend YTT started at 8am with meditation and asanas (postures) and after 3 hours of Jess whipping us in shape, we’d go for lunch before going back to the studio for the second half of the day. The second half consisted of interactive theory lessons. By 2ish pm I’d be dead tired and would hurry home to shower and jump into my bed to sleep the rest of the day away. Melissa Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Mel: “What is your reason for taking YTT?”
On the very first day of YTT, I was sitting on my mat, feeling a mixture of shyness, anxiousness and excitement. There were new faces all around me and I wondered if they felt the same way I did. We had to do a round of introduction and answer why we were taking YTT. Some said they wanted to deepen their practice, some wanted to help others… My answer was “I just really love yoga and it felt like a natural progressive step to take” I felt that my answer was lame compared to the others. But it was the truth. I didn’t know if I wanted to teach after graduation because: oh em gee! Standing before a class of people and teaching them?! – that was too much for the person who takes comfort in not socialising and being under the covers watching Netflix or reading a book on weekends. Me. “the person” is me. But here we are. Let’s see what happens and fingers crossed I’ll be able to remember everyone’s names. Melissa Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Melissa: “Do you want to join me for a yoga class?”
“Do you want to join me for a yoga class?” “But… I’m not a ‘yoga’ person..” “Try it” “Ookayy” From that day onwards, somewhere late Feb 2018 was how I took my first baby steps into yoga. Or so I thought. Instead of slowly dipping my toes in the sea I felt I got smacked into the ocean by the wind at the core yoga class I took. I still remember the first yoga class I took vividly. The class was led by Alexis at The Yoga Mandala. (Monday 7:30pm ya’ll) Apart from the few yoga videos on Youtube that I’d tried, I’d never done yoga before. I remember giggling at the breathing exercises (what noise is that?) and I remember being tired after the first 10 minutes or so. In downward facing dog, I remember asking myself why I agreed to go to a yoga class because THIS IS PURE TORTURE. But unbeknownst to me, I was hooked from that day onwards. Week in, week out, I would go to class happily and would gladly receive the “torture” flavour of the week. And here I am.. 2 years later, taking my YTT. Thank you Leo, for taking me to my first yoga class. I know I’ve thanked you before and you said “You did the work yourself” but without your first nudge towards the direction of yoga, I wouldn’t be where I am now. (wow this sounds like an award speech) Jokes aside, it was a turning point in my life for the better and for that, I am forever grateful. THANK YOU LEO! Melissa Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Rachel: As YTT comes to an end….
As YTT comes to an end…. I wanted to reflect on how I expected my yoga journey to be quite linear. I started out practising yoga seriously about 2 years back and saw yoga as a means of exercise after graduating from college. It was satisfying to see progress as I practiced consistently and that egged me on to continue reading up on postures, eventually deciding to take up YTT because I hoped to gain more knowledge on alignment so that I can also guide my friends and family who might be shy to join a class or dismiss yoga as “too slow”. I looked forward to each class as I learnt more asanas as well as the history and limbs of yoga. Everything seemed to be progressing smoothly in the linear fashion I had imagined, where I would be able to practice >> learn >> teach others. However, as we got to the last segment of teaching and assessments, I started feeling very anxious and had a nagging feeling that something was missing. I was not able to pinpoint what it was but assumed that it was the COVID-19 situation where we had to adapt to bring lessons and teaching online that threw a curveball in the YTT. I simply continued to practice, aiming to make my sequence as seamless as possible, and held more online community classes with friends. As I did more of my peers’ sequences during teaching assessments, the anxiety grew — would I be able to conduct a class as seamlessly, ensure that I bring enough energy through the screen, and more importantly, convey my authentic self through in my teaching? I did more lessons with friends, but I was often still not satisfied with myself after and found myself questioning more—how can I improve my sequence? should I consider including music as an accompaniment? What is the style of yoga I see myself teaching? Eventually, I spoke to Jess about this— and I’m glad I did. I mentioned I felt anxious because I didn’t feel like I have a distinct style of yoga I was teaching, while others seemed to have developed and found theirs. Underlying this, I believe it’s also self-doubt that was creeping in. Jess gave me some hard questions to ask myself, and prompted me to really take time to reflect on who I am as a person and how I can bring that to that mat— just me, not trying to emulate or compare myself to others. I held these questions in mind while I planned another sequence for a class with friends. Glad to say that focusing and bringing myself back to why I wanted to teach in the first place— to guide friends and family, has helped keep me grounded and less anxious. But this is just the beginning. YTT has given me the foundation to teach, but this is a reminder that my yoga journey is not linear and will include twists and turns— where it is okay to stop and question, take a step back and reflect. Yoga is also not only about the asanas and physical practice. I often forget the other limbs of pranayama, meditation and self-observation, which are equally as important in the yogic lifestyle. This is only the beginning of my yoga journey, and I am so excited to continue discovering what Yoga— not only the physical practice, means to me and how I can contribute to the world of yoga. A special shout out: My YTT would not have been complete without the support of my classmates! I have also shared the above with them, and received so much encouragement and tips to improve, which truly shows what a supportive and genuine yoga community looks like. I am so glad that our paths have crossed, and I can’t wait to see what each of them will do after YTT 🙂 Rachel Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Rachel: Yoga for restoration
When I first started out doing yoga, I almost exclusively did power or flow classes, intentionally avoiding yin or stretch, thinking that they would be too slow for me. I had wanted a challenge and how soaked my towel was after class was my indication of how good a workout I had. However, as I started going for more intensive classes, I often found myself burning out faster and faster and getting anxious if I was not achieving the peak or fancy poses. I was then curious if stretch and mediation classes could help me with my aches and relaxation, and relieve some of that anxiety. I started going for yin/ restore classes, exploring meditation, sound therapy and gong baths— some of which I decided was not my cup of tea— but in the midst of it, grew to really appreciate slower-paced classes for restoration, and thereafter found myself often going back to power or flow classes more rested and open in my joints. More importantly, the stretching and slower paced classes gave me time during each class to appreciate and understand the benefits of each pose, correcting my alignment and not just filling the space of the pose in flows. As I embarked on YTT and Jess told us in the first lesson that we would start each practice with meditation for as long as 20-25 minutes, I was shocked. I have never meditated before, much less sit in stillness for close to 30 mins. The thought of me drowning in my own thoughts scared me. Now, I really look forward to starting each practice just sitting, focusing on my breath and in stillness. So much of life is hectic and uncertain, slowing down and breathing in stillness has become somewhat of a luxury. I aim to bring incorporate that into every day— whether through meditation or a slower practice— to find slice a calm and gentleness even in the toughest or happiest situations in life. Rachel Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Rachel: Perspectives in yoga
Something I was really fascinated by during YTT was how I never observed that many yoga poses were the same but simply take different names and activate different muscles in seated, standing, prone or supine positions. For example, one of my favourite poses— the forward fold, is uttanasana in standing, pachimottanasana in seated and adho mukha svanasana (downward dog) in prone. One of the most restorative poses— child’s pose, is balasana in seated/ kneeling, pavanamuktasana (wind relieving pose) in supine, then becomes more challenging as a handstand tuck. Just like how water exists in liquid, solid and gaseous states, practicing and appreciating yoga reminds me to be fluid and flexible (mentally and physically). This circuit breaker period has forced me to look at situations with fresh perspectives and try to find growth and purpose in uncertainty. Some things that used to be easy and taken for granted, such as practicing in the studio, has now become challenging as I try to find the discipline to practice at home. On the other hand, the isolation period has brought my family closer— something I always found I had little time for. But just like yoga, I try to always bear in mind, that different situations activate different “muscles”, building my different aspects of my character. I’m grateful for such periods that give me no option but to re- examine life and my current practices. I hope that we all come out of this period stronger— in practice and mind— and do life with grace and resilience! Rachel Fen’20 Weekend YTT
Rachel: Chasing asanas
In one of my very first few classes of yoga, the teacher said at the beginning of class to “leave your ego at the door”. I did not really understand what that meant and didn’t think much of it. As we progressed into class and worked towards the peak pose, as a beginner, I found it unattainable and was frustrated as I saw other students get into it easily. That’s when I caught myself— was this my ego speaking? What was the root of my frustration? I was not sure if I was disappointed in my body or if I was concerned that I could not show others my success. As I continued with classes, I found myself chasing pose after pose, sometimes exhausting myself and ultimately not even reaching the pose. One of it was trying to pike into a headstand. While I was able to steady myself in a headstand from teddy bear by then, I just could not enter through a pike. I was not sure what the reason was—core? tight hamstrings? I kept going at it to no avail. Then, I just stopped doing headstands– because I think I just lost interest in something I had nothing new to show and be proud of. After one of our physical sessions during YTT, one of my peers offered to help video me getting into a pose, and with my forearms on the mat, I just decided to walk into a headstand position. As she began filming and I continued walking my feet to my face, I took a breath, tried to activate my core and in that split second, both my feet lifted and I let out a gasp. Jess would often tell us to stay calm while getting into a pose but my heart was leaping! I wasn’t sure what exactly I did, but with regular practice while working on other poses, I was probably strengthening my core and shoulder strength such that the pose became accessible to me now. I’ve rewatched the video many times, always with gratefulness and a tiny bit of pride. Because this pose was aresult of consistent practice and guidance from my peers who have offered my tips, teachers who helped to check my alignment and a little bit of courage. More importantly, it will always be a reminder that yoga does not owe anyone anything, and that ego is a disservice to the practice. A reminder to examine my intentions, chase progress and growth, rather than the end result. Rachel Feb’20 Weekend YTT
Rachel: Learning about my body in yoga
I can’t remember how it felt like to learn how to walk, but I would think that trying to do handstands, forearm stands and other arm balances on my palms and falling over consistently would be a good gauge of how hard it must have been. Yoga is helping me relearn a lot of things about my body. I realised that I have a weak or collapsed arch, which might have been caused by wearing sneakers pretty much daily, and that I have a slight hunch and slouch in my walk, because I remember growing up not liking my chest/boobs and often elevated and rounded my shoulders to “hide” it. Things that I don’t usually take note of like how I stand, sit and even sleep, have become important to me, as I find that these little things really affect how I can or cannot get into certain poses due to poor postures and tight joints. It feels weird to examine and learn about a body that I have had for a good 25 years, but still not know, or subconsciously taken for granted all these while. Learning about mine also made me more aware of others’. Seeing how my grandparents and parents have poor postures and resulting aches have shown the importance of building good practices. At the same time, it has been a joy pointing these out and helping my family build better practices together. It’ll be a journey (re)learning about my body, but I’m looking forward to getting to know her a lot better and treat her right this time. Rachel Feb’20 Weekend YTT
