In my path for spiritual awakening (or maybe spiritual satiety. At this point, am not
quite certain), I found myself signing up for an Energy Healing session. Truthfully, a
girl needs as much help as possible.
It started with a 30 min chat with Michelle, a friend of a friend who calls herself a
“Intuitive energy healer, Meditation guide, Wellness healer”. Trust me, I was just as
sceptical as the next person, but I decided to dispel judgement for a moment, letting
our chat flow, we spoke about what I understood a healing to be and what I was
meaning to get at the end of the session.
Without going in too much detail, I took a little bit of time to have a chat with Jessica
on what were some of the elements that seemed to stick to me and it made me think
about;
Sometimes rules are there to teach you the steps you need to take. It doesn’t
mean your freedom is taken away
I don’t always do super well with direction or authority without reason, whether that’s
at home, work, or school.
That said, at points in my life, Im aware of the need to operate within the system. In
the corporate world, relationships etc, there will be moments of compromise and
discussion. And its necessary for me to develop the skills to take direction, while still
leaning into my passions and strengths.
Not only will this make my life easier but working for a company that has laid out
plans or being with supportive people who have been clear with their expectations
might not actually be as scary as it seems.
Which also leads me to providing myself enough time to myself to process
and not get too involved.
As much as I enjoy the company of people and doing a million things, I do need a
couple of days away void of social interaction to process and distance myself from
internalizing emotional experiences that are not mine. This shares the same space
as me taking up wayyy too many projects. With this taking real estate in my brain,
this can be incredibly overwhelming and frustrating.
Convinced that there is something always better in the horizon. Hence, never
being satisfied and taking on too many projects.
Fully aware that there just aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things that I
want to. I’m notorious for taking on way too many projects at once and, even when
they realize they’re in over their heads, trying to finish everything anyway.
It’s a good idea to be a little honest with myself.
I realised this is all about finding balance between wanting to try everything, and
actually managing a responsible workload. With people and things, I can care for
someone/thing and love them dearly, while keeping my emotions and feelings my
own. All this while taking a step back and pausing from a safe distance.
Nurul
200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
