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Fear (Shuping)

Fear is a mental obstacle that slowly builds within you as you grow, without you knowing.

It wasn’t until joining the YTT that I realized that I have probably built a Great Wall of China inside me. Over the years of doing sports, I have accumulated numerous injuries, and what I did not realize is that I have also accumulated numerous fears that stopped me from performing poses to prevent myself from getting injured.

The first week of YTT has definitely brought some insights to me. We started learning to do headstands and no matter how I try, I could not get myself to do it. Thinking it was purely due to physical strength, however, Jessica pointed out that I could do it. I tried several times at home during the weekend and even filmed myself to see what went wrong. It was at the point of time when both legs managed to land on the wall when I realized that it was not all physical, and that my fear was so great that I was the one that literally brought myself down again and again.

It was definitely a great learning lesson for me to be able to identify and acknowledge my fears. What’s next is how do I actually manage them properly to overcome this wall that I have built. I shall start with Ujayii breathing and meditation to work those thoughts out.