Today is our batch’s graduation day.
So it took me about 2 hours to come up with the title and theme and yet, it feels wrong. I am not ready to end the YTT course yet – perhaps someone is playing a huge prank on me – it can’t possibly be at the end of Week 5 of the course. I am still a beginner.
Thinking back to a conversation I had whilst debating options for the 5 weeks I had. I wanted to do something that would just be meaningful for me. Not learning French and German for my husband, not travelling all over the world to see friends. Just something for me, myself and I.
Oh boy did I get to know myself beyond all expectations on my 1 sqm mat:
- I can do inversion poses (given the knowledge, wisdom and discipline):
Starting my YTT day 1 with practically no arm muscles, I now am a lover of crow, firefly and headstand.
- I am an introvert (shocking):
For years I thought of myself as an extrovert despite all personality tests telling me otherwise. But during the 5 weeks, I realised I am always more comfortable focusing on my own inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what’s happening externally.
- I am disciplined, despite years of believing otherwise.
My specialty is the morning alarm snooze, I have really excelled at postponing my wakeup time to the very very last second that it has to be some sort of an art form. But on my 1 sqm of yoga mat, I have found the strength to just do one more drill even when my non-existent abs are shaking in excruciating pain. I have found the joy of discipline, it doesn’t have to be grand, it simply lies in the fact that I showed up every day and gave no petty excuses. Was there a couple of lazy child’s poses here and there? Sure, especially when Jess wasn’t looking but hey, it’s incredibly hard to keep one’s mula banda engaged at all times!
But this is not all, I am first and foremost, most grateful to my teacher Jess, my inversion after class tutor Alexis, and all my batch yogi friends. You have blessed me in ways I cannot describe and cannot thank you enough for.
I have ticked all the boxes for what I wanted to get out of the course when I signed up:
- Learn how to do the poses and the theory of yoga
- Make friends and have my own yogi community
- Be disciplined and show up every day. If possible, some sort of inversion
Now, with all the knowledge about yoga, and myself, I have more questions than answers. It’s okay though, I know I am on the way. I may have just gotten off the train, but the yoga journey has just begun for me.
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