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Jan – (2) On Humility

There’s so much more to yoga. Learning about Patanjali’s Eight Limbs of Yoga has put lots of things in perspective.

 

Let go of your ego. We’ve all heard this before.

 

In the first few years of my practice, I treated yoga like any other thing in life – something to achieve, Asana after Asana. It was simply a physical practice that I abused.

The ego was a constant voice in my head telling me to push my body until I nailed a pose, or some version of it that I could accept.

If I couldn’t do it, I would file it under “something I just suck at”.

Sure enough, my body taught me a lesson when I hurt my lower back, and somehow,

(even though I didn’t know it yet) the voices of Yama and Niyama began to prevail over the voice of my ego.

Both on and off the mat,

I learnt to be kinder to myself,

less attached to and less judgmental of what I could or could not do,

and more content with wherever I was at any given moment.

 

YTT week 2. Plot twist.

We started our teaching practice and I noticed the ego’s voice getting louder again. The voice that inspires fear and self-judgment.

“What if I **** it up? This isn’t good enough.”  “I’m not new to this, I have to do better.” “I have to get it right if I want to teach.”

By the end of that week, I was sleep-deprived and maxed out.

And thankfully, again, the kinder voices spoke, not only in my heart, but from others who care.

All these anxieties, they only exist in my head.

I just need to be true and offer the best version of myself to whoever I’m sharing my time with.

And if I do mess up, it’s okay. God will help me deal with it in that moment.

I’m still learning to let go of my ego and I don’t think I’ll ever stop learning.

 

Where’s the humility in all of this?

It’s the fine balance between appreciating your strengths and embracing your weaknesses.

It’s in knowing that you can be better, but you are already good.

Why do we always have to take the extremes?

 

And above all that, humility is in recognising that there’s something greater than yourself.

So, I’m gonna keep trying to let go and let God.

 

Love, Jan @saltfrosted

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