I recall how I felt during the first few times we had to start off the day’s practice with 30 minutes of meditation at 8AM. I wouldn’t exactly call it dread, but probably more worry instead as to how I was going to keep still for that duration on time while my feet go numb, neck becomes stiff, and those tight hips of mine start crying for help, all while keeping myself focused and grounded for meditation.
I don’t think there’s any way I can stop myself from having drifting thoughts to be honest, how I didn’t put my cup away after having coffee this morning, how I kind of might need the toilet right now, or what we were going to have for lunch later – but then I tell myself that the more important thing is not to entertain these thoughts. So I start pulling myself back to my visualisation at the beach with the ocean’s waves and focus on my breathing instead. Overtime, somehow, that 30 minutes started to feel more and more like 10 minutes instead, and before I know it, I can hear Jess’ loving voice start to draw us back to where we drifted off to and call for the end of our meditation.
I’ve learnt to acknowledge and accept meditation as a way of humbling myself when I come to my mat. The same should applied to my practice on the mat as well – being focused and not entertaining any thoughts that should come my way. Funny thing is, these days, I reminisce those times and actually seem to miss those 30-minutes meditation sessions.
Emilyn
200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
