I started my YTT on a high. I was looking forward to my YTT because I knew it was what I wanted
to do. I wanted to be a teacher. And getting my YTT certificate will help me achieve my goal. I was
excited to learn all the fancy moves and anatomy and philosophies so that I can impart all the
knowledge I have gained to others.
I enjoyed my first week even though my body was a little shocked from the daily drills and three
hours of practice. I was enthusiastic about learning new things and looking forward to arriving
on my mat every morning. I was engaged in class, asking questions and listening to Jessica
intently. After the first week of training, I even practiced teaching my friends so that I can apply
what I learnt from the lessons. Week one was fabulous.
Then came week two, it got tougher. We started practicing arm balances and I realized I was not
strong enough. And I noticed a shift in my attitude and closing myself off from others. I was
feeling negative… disappointed and angry with myself for not being able to do certain poses.
However I pushed myself and continued showing up on the mat and learning as much as I can.
The third week was the worst. I was mentally exhausted. I realized I could not balance YTT and
personal life. I allowed the turbulence in my personal life to affect my practice on the mat. I was
very distant with my fellow trainees, I was mentally absent during trainings and I dreaded doing
homework/studying each day. I felt helpless. Thoughts like ‘Will I even be a good teacher?’ and ‘I
don’t feel worthy to learn from Jessica’ came across my mind and I felt scared.
It was all in my head… I was aware of it. So I made a conscious effort to be more present in class
the following week. I had to change my attitude from ‘I cannot do this’ to ‘Ok Wiy, lets give it a
On the first day of my fourth week, I had a breakthrough. I finally got into Eight Angle Pose. Wow,
I never thought I could do it. I didn’t think my arms were strong enough. But that made me
realize success just takes time and commitment. I shouldn’t be comparing my practice and
journey against others’ because everyone is different and we have different strengths. I just have
to focus on my own journey. The breakthrough got me excited again and I enjoyed my last week
of YTT as I got closer with everyone, be more open and laugh a little.
Now as I am reflecting back, I actually didn’t laugh much during YTT because I was always in my
own head. Now I wish I could go back to day one and redo this experience again.
But all good things must come to an end. I am truly pleased with my YTT experience with Yoga
Mandala as I learnt so much about myself during this journey. And I look forward to my next
chapter – Wiy as a yoga teacher.
200HR YTT May’21 Weekday