Over? Or only just begun?

So……most of us have already taught our final session for YTT. I must say, getting a chance to invite and teach our friends was scary to the moon and back, but strangely exhilarating as well. We all found ourselves saying the same thing after the hour is done- “It’s OVER!”

But then I started questioning…is it really over? Or only just the beginning? I suddenly found myself at a different crossroad once again. Can I really do it? Can I teach? Can I make a difference?

A month back, we were asked if we seriously wanted to teach after this course is over. I didn’t have the answer then. Honestly, I think none of us did. We all started this journey for different reasons, it only made sense that we were headed towards different destinations.

Jess gave us her thoughts after we’ve done our final round of teaching. And after I read the comments she had for me, I bawled my eyes out in the middle of my office. My colleagues were giving me suspicious eyebrows by then. It felt like my heart broke and mended itself back together at the same time. I know it probably doesn’t make any sense to whoever is taking the time to read this. But I don’t know how else to say it.

This YTT at Mandala has given me so much, taught me priceless lessons, shaped me to be better. It made me realize that there are so many things I want to do, so much I want to give back. Somewhere along the way, I had my answer already even though our teachers never asked the question out loud again.

I’m a little clueless on where or how to start. But yes. Yes, I want to make a difference in people’s lives. Yes, I want to help people. And yes, I do want to teach.