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Owning my fears: Phyllis

Everyone has fears right? They come in all sorts of shapes and forms. There are
mental fears that exist only in my head. There are also physical fears that warn me of danger.
I often allow my fears to get the better of me, and in doing so, I’ve missed out on the
untapped potential within me. I fear face-planting the ground while doing arm balances and
falling out of inversions. In our YTT, although we were always told to first use blocks as a
safety precaution, I still fear face-planting the block. Point is, I tell myself, be scared but do it
anyway (with necessary safety precautions of course). Because each time I fall, I pick myself
back up, and I try again. And I know that one day when I can comfortably and confidently
hold a pose, it would be because I fell over and over countless times, but never gave up.


Another fear that I struggled with was my teaching being judged. I was afraid that
people would think that my teaching voice sounded weird and that I would not be able to give
clear instruction cues. However, I am beyond blessed to be surrounded by the absolute
sweetest and most supportive bunch of women in my YTT journey. I also have the most
precious and supportive friends, and a sister, who has lovingly and graciously allowed me to
practice my instruction cues on them. After Jessica's advice (as mentioned in my previous
blog post) struck a chord within me, I started to let go of this fear and began having more fun
teaching. As I started to embrace this newfound joy in teaching yoga, instruction cues for
different poses started to come more naturally to me and I no longer feel as anxious or
stressed out when it was my turn to teach. I stopped having to rigidly memorize the
instructions for each pose and could instead let other instructions flow to my mind and out of
my mouth after giving the main instructions.


This YTT has made me realize that I have always been letting my fears hold me back.
I’ve truly come to realize that if I don’t own my fears, then my fears will own me. It’s either
one or the other. So, this is me telling my fears, I see you and I hear you, but I am not afraid
of you. I embrace you because you will allow me to grow and rise up to my untapped
potential within.


200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend