So this YTT has been a complete whirlwind so far. I remember on my very first day, me being an introvert at heart, feeling so intimidated and overwhelmed. As Jessica listed the course requirements to pass, my heart was doing the leopard crawl up my throat in an attempt at suicide. The only thing that I kept repeating in my head was, “How the blue world was I ever going to do all of that?!” Not only did we have to memorize Sanskrit (whattt???), but my classmates were leaps and bounds ahead of me in terms of their practice. I was so amazed at their flexibility and strength.
I started to question if I even belonged there. I was still so new to yoga, haven’t read many books about it, barely practiced long or hard enough at the time, and I had no clue what was in store for me. I just knew that for the longest time, I’ve been searching for something more than what my current life had to offer. A sense of peace, a place to belong, the freedom to be who I want to be and not what people tell me to be, a way to better my health, because my full-time job was killing all of that.
Yes, I was scared. I still am. But I’ve learnt not to underestimate myself. Somewhere along the way, this YTT has helped me find that courage and persistence to keep trying. I constantly remind myself not to be so self-absorbed, because everybody runs their own race. Everybody has their own challenges to face and hurdles to cross, be it on the mat or back home.
Take heart, don’t give up. The journey is worth it.
Anthea
