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The Hardest Thing to Do is to Do Nothing

 

Last week, I caught the flu. It started on Tuesday and I thought that I’d be able to fully
recover by Friday, therefore still being able to attend class over the weekend. The days
passed and I had recovered mostly, but not fully. I hated that feeling – not so much the feeling
of being physically weak (although that was bad too) but the feeling of admitting to myself
that I needed more rest. Still, I so badly didn’t want to miss out on class. I thought maybe I
could show up anyway but take it easy during asana practice while keeping my mask on, and
then sitting at the back of class during theory. That still wouldn’t have been very socially
responsible of me, and I knew that if I did show up to class, a shadow of guilt would haunt
me.

So I ended up missing a weekend of YTT at it was literally one of the most torturous things
I’ve ever had the displeasure of experiencing. My classmates did provide some comfort by
assuring me that they’d share their notes with me and explain whatever they learned in class,
but it was still a heartache to miss the experience of class myself. At home through the week,
I rested as much as I could so that I’d recover as quickly as possible. I was a total woozy
sloth the whole time but also, I was itching to move. I missed moving so much. Every time I
get the flu, I realize how much I take for granted the little things in life. We never usually
appreciate the magical feeling of effortlessly breathing through both nostrils at the same time
until this happens. That being said, forcing myself not to practice yoga until I was fully
recovered felt like being in a straitjacket, but I knew I just had to do it to avoid any other
consequences that would delay my practice. So, all I could do was meditate and even then, I
would fall asleep. This weekend was a truly test of my mental strength and control of
impulses which thankfully is a huge aspect of yoga – one that we rarely focus on when we get
carried away by the excitement of asana practice. This reminded me of something we learnt
on the first day of class: who knew it would be so difficult to sit still?

 

Raemier
200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21

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