I never thought that I would one day be attending a Yoga Teacher Training course. I’ve always been someone who just takes the easy way out – whether it was choosing what course to study in school or what career path to take; I just did whatever I knew I would do well in without much effort, even if I hated them. That’s probably also why I’ve never continued practicing yoga for more than 3 months at a go in the past; when it starts to get tough, I stop doing them. But that’s not really what life should be like, isn’t it?
To be honest, I was also given a ‘kick’ to start this course. I went back and forth about whether I should do it; after a year of consistent practice, which is miraculous for me, I thought that I wanted to learn more than what the one-hour classes taught and beyond what was offered on the mat, but I was held back a lot by personal mind blocks. When you have a lifetime of taking it easy, it’s sometimes hard to break out of the habit – I wanted to explore deeper and knew that a structured course suited my personality better than trying to read all about it on my own, but I kept thinking that it might be too difficult, that I am too fat or weak to do some of the advanced poses, that I would have to interact with too many people which is terrifying for an introvert, that I wasn’t ready. I discussed it with the husband, who then told the entire world that I was doing the course – so I had no choice but to sign up for it. I guess you could say that my husband knows me well enough to realise that if I didn’t have the kick, I would still be sitting on my sofa thinking about it (hey hey, I’m a Kapha here – we love our sofas), but I can’t help but curse him every night I come home with pains everywhere but my toes. Side note, I love how Jessica asks us the next day where it hurts – I think the question should really be where does it not hurt?
But I am glad that I did sign up for the course (please don’t tell my husband, I’m not really ready to forgive him and give him credit). It’s quite refreshing to come out of your comfort zone – whether it was challenging yourself to poses that used to be inaccessible, or learning a new language, or even trying to be less introverted and opening up to not-yet-familiar people about your body. It’s nice to finally let go of self-imposed limitations and try to convince yourself that one day you will get there if you keep trying, even if it’s not today. After a lifetime of taking the easy way out, I’ve realized that just because you do well in something, it doesn’t mean that you will enjoy doing it. Although there are a lot more to learn, a whole lot more physical pain to go through, and even though many poses don’t come naturally and my body is crying every night, I could at least say that my heart is at ease and happy and that I am having fun. Now that’s what life should be like, isn’t it?
Till next week, or when I learn to type with my toes.
Joan
